Now We Are Awake
by WaichiMakkura
Summary: Nara Shikamaru sees the dark clouds looming on the horizon of Konoha, and deals with the changes, one moment at a time. His own inner struggles connect with those of his fellow shinobi. ShikaCho and possibly other pairings. Heavy with Spoilers
1. Chapter 1

**Now We Are Awake**

Disclaimer: Naruto and all characters belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. This story is purely for entertainment purposes. (Though the subject matter is damn near canon…cough)

Note: This takes place according to the manga, and there may be spoilers ahead, so beware. I believe Shikamaru is 18 years old about this time…

Also, this is slash, man-on-man-love, Shonen-Ai (maybe yaoi later on) MxM, etc.

Hurrah for "Live", for their loverly music. It helped me write this.

"_Light up a cigarette she said, and calm the fck down…You've got a serious side to you that'd give the whole world a frown." _;

And of course to Kishimoto, for his spooty characters and visuals. 3

On a side note, This is a complete re-write of the original first chapter, which I lost to formatting. --

A sinewy, dexterous hand crushed a burnt-out cigarette onto the wet stone. Nara Shikamaru stared at his reflection in the black Konoha memorial, long finished with tracing over the names with an index finger. He decided not to do that anymore. The stone kind of pissed him off now. It praised people for giving up everything in life that they used to fight for. In the end they fought for an idea, the idea of dying honorably. Was there truly such a thing? Shikamaru wasn't so sure. He'd developed the belief that suicide is simply the act of giving up. People who didn't have the strength to go on living destroy their lives, and it wasn't always their fault. Nonetheless, it was troublesome.

"Shikamaru-kun!" a sharp, demanding voice called his name and made him flinch. Ino walked up behind him and rapped the back of his head with her fist.

"How could you be so callous?! Putting out a cigarette on the memorial stone!?" The blonde girl was clearly exasperated, placing her

hands on her hips and bending over to glare fiercely at her team-mate. Shikamaru rubbed the back of his head with disdain and said

nothing, continuing to stare with stubborn vehemence at the dark plaque. He lowered his gaze only after hearing a muffled sniffling to his

right, and turned to glance sympathetically at his best friend and original team-mate, Akimichi Chouji. Chou looked very different with his

long hair and armor plates, which Shikamaru had never seen him cry in until recently. The larger boy had gripped his long-sleeves in a

kind of comforting self-embrace, and was trying futilely to keep from letting little sobs escape his mouth. Shikamaru got up from his

crouching position in front of the stone and walked over to sit behind Chou, keeping his back to his friend. He dared not try to comfort

Chou physically, but he had to at least let him know that his pain was being acknowledged. He crossed his arms and hunched over as Ino

ruffled Chou's hair reassuringly. Normally Ino would have taken the opportunity to laugh at Chouji, and Shikamaru would have gone up

in arms against her, but this was a different time. It had been about two weeks since Shikamaru had gone on that horrible mission with his

sensei, and lost the man to death. No one had ever died under Shikamaru's guidance, he had sworn to make sure of that after nearly

losing Chou three years before in the hunt for Sasuke-kun. Shikamaru made a face, he had never liked Sasuke, and after that incident, he

was the only person who really filled him with unbridled hatred. The Uchiha had always been hailed as the strongest of his generation, but

he was really soft in the head, and a lot of people had died because of his selfish decisions. If he ever found Sasuke, Shikamaru decided

firmly, he would make sure the sulky, stuck-up bastard understood all the damage he had caused. If Shikamaru got the chance, he

decided, he'd beat Sasuke's face to a pulp. Shikamaru got up and walked back down the path, lighting up another cigarette. He had not

intended to continue the habit after Asuma-sensei had died, but it had stuck with him. Must be the nicotine. Asuma had smoked when

things were okay, and staved off in times of stress. Shikamaru was the direct opposite, gnawing irritably at the stick and pulling at his

ponytail. He scowled again, as he caught a couple of kunoichi glancing admiringly at him. They all thought the smoking was cool.

Shikamaru wished someone cared enough to try and break him of the habit. There were enough things a shinobi could worry about dying

of without adding lung cancer to the list. As if on cue, Ino sidled up beside him and did a girly little walk that seemed to repel the would-

be admirers. Shikamaru suppressed a sigh, wishing Chouji would finish paying his respects and walk on the other side of him. He disliked

being alone with Ino. Shikamaru had realized years ago the invisible wars that went on in his team. Ino was one of those girls who had

always pined over Sasuke-kun, but had unconsciously developed attachments to more accessible boys. Shikamaru, in this case. He

realized this before Ino did, and afterwards became increasingly aggravated concerning her behaviour towards Chouji. It was very

simple, Chouji and Shikamaru were best friends. They spent a lot of time together. Ino liked Shikamaru, was annoyed by his high regard

for someone whom she could not even give the time of day to, and so constantly tormented the Akimichi. Shikamaru had developed

'special' feelings for Chou, but never told anyone, and so had to endure a double-edged sword whenever his team interacted with each other.

"Ah, Shikamaru-kun…why DID you put out your cigarette on the memorial?"

Ino had bent over slightly as she walked, folding her hands behind her back in an attempt to look cute and endearing. Shikamaru met her

coquettish smile with a flat expression, wondering briefly if she had only been upset because he hadn't finished his cigarette before putting

it out. She was getting over Asuma's death more quickly than either of them. He heard heavy footsteps behind him and sighed out his

relief in a large plume of smoke as Chou caught up beside him. Chou made a face and rubbed his eyes.

"Nah, Shikamaru-kun," Ino grinned, shifting into her teasing mode.

"Chouji just finished crying his eyes out, don't make him tear up again." She giggled into her hand. Chouji sniffed again, and Shikamaru

stared straight ahead, thinking maybe he would blow smoke in Ino's direction this time. His plan was foiled, however, as Ino cheerfully

announced her departure to help out at the flower shop, and stalked away, hips swinging in another of her girly walks. Chouji giggled in her direction,

"She tries too hard. Like she's afraid no one will notice her behind if she doesn't wiggle it like a bumblebee." Shikamaru snorted out short

little streams of smoke from his nose in laughter. He didn't laugh often, and it was even rarer now, given current events. He decided that

his hilarity was mostly due to pent-up stress. He'd needed that laugh. He was just about to thank Chouji for it when he felt the cigarette yanked from his mouth.

"I wish you'd stop that…" Chou muttered as he ground the stick underfoot.

"As hard as you work yourself these days, you need clean air in your lungs." Chouji paused after his little speech, and scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

"Nah, Shikamaru, tell you what…Asuma wanted me to diet, ne? So if I do that, you should quit smoking. What do you think?" Chouji

placed a finger to his lips ponderingly after he finished speaking, watching Shikamaru for a reaction to the deal. Shikamaru barely

processed the last bit, still wondering at the crumpled cigarette on the ground. He felt all tingly, absently rubbing his arms to shake off the feeling.

"No Chou," Shikamaru shook his head with a bemused smile. Chouji's expression sank a little, disappointed at what he thought was outright denial on Shikamaru's part.

"You don't need to diet. Just eat healthier food, but eat all you like. I can respect Asuma's last wishes, but I think he was just concerned for your health…I really hate smoking. It's just addictive. I do it when I'm stressed out, I guess. I'll quit, but you'll have to stop me when you see me start, okay?" Shikamaru smiled and nodded at Chouji.

Chou blinked a couple times, then chuckled and rubbed his nose with a finger. He wasn't quite sure what to say to that, but he liked

hearing someone tell him he didn't need to diet. Shikamaru never seemed to think badly of him, and it still surprised him to this day.

"Yeah, I can do that, if you need it." Chou nodded agreeably and smiled a little.

"I have to go home now, though." Chou mumbled, scratching the back of his head again."Dad wants me home for dinner, we're cooking

for Asuma-sensei's wife." He added somberly, turning to leave. Shikamaru noted that Chou was kind enough to say Asuma-sensei's

wife, not his widow. They waved curtly at each other and parted ways. Shikamaru trotted in the direction of a tall water-tower, and made

his way to the top using his chakra. Anything to be alone at this moment. Once at the summit, he laid back on the surface with his knees

drawn up, and hugged his arms to himself. There were a lot of clouds today. Shikamaru sighed.

"Maybe I was wrong to hold it inside all this time…" he whispered to himself.

(Whoo, first chapter. It's like OMG, there's a plot. 0.0; Um, please R&R. It makes me smile, and motivates me to write to the best of my abilities, which this is not. p)


	2. Chapter 2

NWAA – Chapter 2

Tsunade's lips curved into a surprised smile.

"Check-mate." She announced.

Shikamaru's head snapped up from spacing out on the wooden shogi board, and he stared at Tsunade-sama for a few seconds before sighing and running a hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry. I have too much on my mind right now."

He explained, standing up and doing a little bow before striding away. Shikamaru frowned as he trudged back to his home. There really was too much on his mind right now. Ever since he had fallen asleep last night, he had been plagued alternately by nightmares and warm flutterings in his chest. Something in him was saying that he couldn't simply know these things that revolved inside him, he had to _do _something about that knowledge. It was interfering with his ability to function in reality, and that could be dangerous in these times. He needed to write his thoughts down in the book, he decided. It would help dispel the flood in his brain for a short time, at least until he could decide on a proper course of action. He reached the front door of his home and stepped inside quickly and quietly, taking care to remove his shoes. He only wanted to write in his book and leave, he didn't need his mother coming around to ask why he had suddenly broken his routine and come home. He climbed the stairs to his room with both feet and hands, in an attempt to be more stealthy. His mother could be anywhere. He reached the top of the stairs and crouched there, poking his head around the corner to survey the hallway before pulling himself up and trotting quickly into his room and sliding the door shut behind him. He locked it, too. That would give him time to escape out the window if he was discovered, where he could simply finish writing on the roof and leave. Shikamaru crouched down by his bed and felt around underneath for the loose floorboard. Lifting away the plank of wood, he reached down and rummaged amongst the pile of things hidden in the hole, his fingers coming to grasp around a leather binding. He pulled out the thick brown journal with the seal on it, using his specific chakra to undo the unique locking device and open up the pages. He thumbed through for a blank spot, briefly noting the numerous drawings he always used to accompany the writing. Smoothing down the blank page, he rose up and shuffled over to his desk to find his calligraphy pen. He took out one with blue ink, and walked over to his window. He leaned his back against the wall to catch the sunlight onto the page, and drew his knees up close to his chest. The book cradled against his legs, he paused for a moment, and then began to write.

_Entry no. 10_

_Nara Shikamaru_

_I realize the potentialities of…I don't know if I believe in fate, but it seems like an unusually cruel lesson to lose something after being in possession for such a length of time. What is the point of developing this kind of deep attachment if not to protect it from harm? It is my only course. I know this could break me, but I have not the will to severe my ties. It is worse, somehow, to throw away a prized possession yourself before it can be stolen from you. Better to keep a look out and know that you tried your hardest to keep ahold…My fears and desires, how can something be so simple and yet so complex? Perhaps it is only the limitation of words that makes it simple, and the haze of emotion that makes it seem complex. I think there is something to be said for being motivated at a young age. The lazy kid who runs from responsibility isn't going to be prepared for life's possibilities, whether positive or negative. Though I guess the driven kid will always be too absorbed in himself to look at people around him. As people we depend on each other, and we would get nowhere without strife to drive us. It's interesting, I had always dismissed common human drama and lifestyle as boring, ridiculous; but in the end I find myself wanting nothing more than the most basic boons of love and family. The only difference is how I would go about obtaining said things, and from where. But then again, maybe I'm just dreaming and cloud-gazing, like always._

Shikamaru finished off his entry by doodling a chibi version of himself, lying on top of a cloud, and stretching out his arms trying to catch a butterfly. He liked the blue ink-pen. He was startled by a rapping sound directly behind his head, and the vibrating sensation on the back of his skull, which was against the window pane. He crawled away a little before looking back to find the source of the interruption, which turned out to be Chou. Shikamaru closed the book and slid it under his bed before walking over to his window and lifting it open. Shikamaru couldn't remember the last time Chouji had come to his window. In fact, it was usually the other way around, since Chou wasn't very initiative.

"Nah, Chouji, what is it? I'd normally be out of the house right now, you know?" Shikamaru grinned good-naturedly and scratched the back of his head, which wasn't tied up in a pony-tail like usual. He had absent-mindedly pulled it out while writing.

"Oh, I- are you sick? I was going to sit on the roof, but I saw you through the window and…uh, yeah." Chou trailed off after realizing how flustered he sounded. Shikamaru gazed at his friend and smirked; a flustered Chouji was always endearing.

"Chou, I'll meet you on the ground outside, alright?" Shikamaru said quickly, flashing a pointed 'in-a-sec' index finger at Chou and

closing the window before the larger boy could reply. Chouji, still crouched outside on the roof, stared blankly at the closed window, bewildered by Shikamaru's energy. He smiled and shrugged to himself. Shikamaru pulled off his outer-jacket hurriedly, and ran towards the stairs. He didn't feel like being decked out in his mission clothes, he had no intention of going back to duty work today. He leaped, deer-like, two steps at a time, and wondered at his own agility before he tripped over a pile of laundry in the middle of the hallway to the front door. Shikamaru's mother walked towards the stairs to investigate the sudden noise of running feet and saw her disheveled son slide across the floor past her only to run into a wall. She simply stared, unsure of how to react, as he picked himself up and rubbed at his face, which was red from grinding against the hardwood in his unexpectedly fast exit. Shikamaru slipped into his shoes as he clutched an injured cheek, and glanced at his mother before sliding open the door and walking out. Shikamaru's mother frowned.

"Shikamaru is never that quick about anything…It's like he's found some pretty young doe. Pff!" She shook her head disbelievingly at

her son's erratic behavior. Shikamaru slid the door shut behind him and scratched the back of his head sheepishly with the hand that wasn't massaging his face. Chouji blinked and shook his head in bewilderment, much like Shikamaru's mother. Had Shikamaru gotten himself in trouble?

"Uhn, Chouji, what was it you wanted?" Shikamaru asked off-handedly.

"I needed someone to talk to." Chou replied simply.

Shikamaru nodded and started walking away from the house, in the direction of the open fields that a lot of farmers and ranchers in Konoha overlooked. It was an old favorite spot for cloud-gazing, with years of repeated use. They walked in silence, Shikamaru realizing that he had no hair-tie, and wondering why Chou hadn't laughed at him. Surely his hair must be a mess right now. Whatever Chouji needed to talk about, it must be serious. They hopped a number of fences, until they came to the middle of an empty field with a single tree in the middle. It was right alongside the forest, so the agricultural workers didn't bother with it. Chouji sat down with his back up against the tree, legs stretched out and hands folded over his stomach. Shikamaru laid beside him in the tall grass, arms and legs in his typical lazy pose. One leg crossed over a drawn up knee, arms behind his head.

"I think my father is in love with Asuma-sensei's wife." Chou announced somberly. Shikamaru glanced up at him to see if he would say more. Silence.

"Hnn, but does she know this?" Shikamaru offered, encouraging.

"I'm not sure. But she's still grieving."

"I'm sure your dad understands that."

"Hai." Here Chouji sighed and paused before continuing.

"He's a lonely person, though. My mom's been dead as long as I've lived."

Shikamaru smiled in an attempt to be sympathetic, he couldn't imagine what it must be like to have no mother because she died giving birth to you. He looked up at the clouds.

"As long as the both of them are happy, it's alright. If she doesn't return his feelings, then I'm sure he'll understand her love for her husband. After all, isn't that why he hasn't remarried all this time? He must have really loved your mother." Shikamaru reassured Chouji with a sensible speech, it was almost customary in these situations.

"I suppose so. But it's strange to me…Everyone around me is always falling in and out of love all over the place, but I stay the same." Chou began somberly, then smiled in an amused way.

"No butterflies in the stomach for me, eh? Shikamaru?" Chouji grinned down at Shikamaru and laughed, his hands bouncing a little with his stomach. When he opened his eyes again, however, his smile faded. Shikamaru was gazing up at him with an indiscernible expression that resembled something halfway between a smile and a pained grimace. Shikamaru swallowed and laughed back weakly, shaking his head.

"Do you like staying the same…? No fluttering wings, I mean." Shikamaru said softly as he turned his head away, assumedly to look at the clouds once again. Chouji watched Shikamaru, wondering what he had said to put his friend in a mood.

"I dunno. How can you miss something you haven't had, ne?" Chou said casually, shrugging and smiling. Still, he pondered the grass with increasing interest, brows furrowed slightly. Shikamaru watched him nibble on one of the green blades and smiled. He got up from his reclining position in the weeds and walked over to his friend until he was slightly behind the Akimichi. Shikamaru crouched down and hugged Chouji around the neck, unconsciously smelling Chouji's hair before he could stop himself.

"Don't worry. Someone who loves you will come find you before the end. Just keep smiling for me, okay?" Shikamaru said softly, smiling sadly into Chou's shoulder. Chouji turned a little, and Shikamaru drew away quickly, realizing that he may have carried it a little too far. He turned his back to Chou and waved goodbye, trying not to run his hands repeatedly through his hair.

"I'll see you later Chouji, mom will beat me if I'm late for dinner." Shikamaru muttered hastily before taking off across the field. Chouji watched his friend leap over the fence and smiled. Shikamaru always knew what to say, always knew how to make him feel better, and always cared enough to listen. He hoped Shikamaru was right.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I no own.

A/N: A short chapter! (I'm sorry! Don't hurt me!)

This contains spoilers. I wrote this directly after reading the translated japanese manga, and just had to write something...

Shikamaru's in no position to be happy fluffy right now...Gomen.

* * *

Shikamaru trudged down the path to the memorial stone, lighter in hand. It was late evening, and his family's dinner with Asuma-sensei's widow had ended a few hours ago. He wondered if she had left his family until last because Shikamaru was the one to break the news to her. He remembered that day distinctly. 

The poor woman had given him a haunted look before he'd spoken a word to her, as if she already knew, somehow. It took only Shikamaru's pained expression and Asuma's name to reduce her to a sobbing heap. Shikamaru did not attend the funeral with the legions of other mourners. He went to the field, and laid there in the grass to collect his thoughts and feelings. He had watched the gray smoke from his cigarette mingle with the white clouds overhead, in a sky that was just too blue.

Shikamaru lit-up one at the thought, feeling slightly guilty. Smoking helped his nerves, even if he knew that it was bad for him. He would just have to tell Chouji that he couldn't quit right now. He needed to focus on the dark clouds that seemed to be looming over Konoha. Shikamaru was always in the habit of being aloof, of ignoring what was not threatening him immediately. He knew better, now. He had to deal with the trembling feeling whirling inside him, and no amount of solitaire shogi or cigarettes was going to make it go away…

Shikamaru crouched down by the black stone and traced his fingers over his sensei's name, as if in apology for his conduct days before. He thought about the funeral, the multiple dinners, and his reactions to each. Most people, in the event of tragedy, clung to each other. They sought strength from the remaining numbers, weakened by the fell blow. Then they amassed together in their weakness and allowed it to overflow. Shikamaru had fled, frightened of letting himself break-down after all this time. He couldn't afford to fall apart now. Not when it felt to him as if death itself could be waiting around every corner, ready to strip away the last of what was worth living for.

However, things were never going to be so simple. No one could be strong forever, Asuma was proof of that. Shikamaru had always known it to be true, but here it was presented to him, in the dark, on a black stone. Stark and permanent.

For now, Shikamaru decided, he would continue to hold back. He would protect, plan, and motivate. He would take the first course of action that made sense; he would avenge his sensei, so no one else would kill themselves trying.

But as soon as it was safe, as soon as there was time, he would crumble. He knew exactly what he would do at that time. He would seek out Chouji, who was the only logical person to break down in front of, and he would ask his friend to simply be there for comfort, and to just let him cry. If that were not possible, then Shikamaru would go back to the field. There he would berate himself for keeping his mouth shut so tightly, and for letting another person die under his watch. He might even go mad, but he knew that he would hide in the tallest grass, curled inside the green blades...

Shikamaru massaged his temples a little in frustration. His head hurt from holding back tears, and the smoke wasn't helping either. He trudged back home.

The next morning, he rallied the troops. Both Ino and Chouji were over their initial shock, and Shikamaru could clearly see the anger in their eyes. He'd known they wouldn't be able to sit back and just accept Asuma-sensei's murder. He wished that his feelings were so simple and straight-forward. With the swirling mass inside him, there simply wasn't enough room to be purely vengeful.

Shikamaru thought briefly of telling his team-mates to let it go, to not risk getting themselves killed and letting Asuma's death be in vain. He knew that would be impossible. Trying to ignore the numerous disaster scenarios that nagged at him, Shikamaru focused on putting his brain to work. What good was the praise fellow shinobi gave him for his talent, if it wasn't even good enough to keep his team-mates in one piece? He clung fiercely to the memory of the field, and all the times he had spent in it with his best friend, smiling at clouds. He thought of the times when he could afford to be lazy, when he could take things for granted, and when he had actually allowed himself to laugh.

He became aware of both his team-mates looking at him, waiting for a signal as they stood before the gates of Konoha. He glanced at each of them in turn, repeating there names in his head as he did so, to bookmark the moment.

"You all set?" Ino.

"Let's go, Shikamaru!" Chouji.

"……Yeah." Shikamaru.

Shikamaru stared ahead at the road before them, only walking forward after Ino started off, then Chouji.

Shikamaru followed behind, watching their backs, and wondering if that would be enough.

(Yaaay. 3rd chapter. with lot's of stuff taken directly from the manga. I could have stretched it out, but it would have suffered. And I really need to go pack right now. I'm embarking on my first ever plane trip tomorrow morning. /wiggles fingers/)


	4. Gomen Nasai

Waaah! I must apologize for my lack of new chapters! (bows low to the ground)

Three new chapters of the manga have been translated, and I watched the filler for four days straight, but I am struggling to finish final projects this week, and I will have actual finals in the next couple weeks. As I type this, I am frantically trying to finish a short story for English class, and my Psych. class is in 30 minutes. ;

So yeah…Gomen nasai…but I will be working on it once things cool down, and with so much material to work from, you can expect a good chapter when I do finally sit down and write it. I will also be working on a nice big art poster which is a collaboration for ShikaCho fans everywhere! So when that is completed, I will post it on for all to see. (Yays!)

So until then...NIKUDAN HARI SENSHA!! (spiked meat tank, compliments of older Chouji's long spiky hair. 3)


	5. Chapter 4

(I own nothing. Kishi is a lucky bastard. I am jealous. Nuff said.)

Rating raised for swearing, mostly, but some possible adult situations.

Here it is finally! NWAA chapter four! Thankyou so much all my wonderful reviewers and I apologize for the awful delay. Some things I'd like to note first, however;

The delay was caused by many things, but one of them being that the Japanese manga supply at was a little screwy, and I have dial-up right now, so it was difficult for me to catch up.

Secondly, although there hasn't been much Team Ten action as of late, and Sasuke keeps stealing the show, (Boo) I am happy to announce that there is still no outright evidence via crush pairing by Kishimoto that Shika and Chouji belong to anyone either than themselves. Which means that the pairing is still near-canon in my eyes. (w00t-sauce!)

And when I say crush pairing, I mean like the very obvious indications of infatuation for another character; like Hinata's crush on Naruto. (In the anime there are other ones that are more apparent; like Tenten gazing admiringly at Lee's muscles while he trains. lol)

Also, I have a few other pairings that I've become obsessed with due to the latest chapters, and while ShikaChou is the underlying couple in this fic, there will be others. The title itself refers to the characters of the series in general coming to realizations of lurv or whatever else besides the mindless "Kill the bad guy!" or "I am sooo evil!"

Okay, now for the notation of my humiliating screw-ups.

When I said 'Asuma-sensei's wife', I was in fact referring to Kurenai. However, at the time it had been so long since I had read anything about her in the manga that I couldn't remember her name!

Also, although there is no mention of Chouji's mother in the manga, (to my knowledge) in the anime there is a scene from Sasuke's POV where Shika and Chou are sitting next to each other in class and Shika says something along the lines of; "Nah, well that sounds good but I can't. My mom's not as nice as yours about that kinda stuff." After Chou asks him if he wants to go to the candy store after school. (Awww) So…I'm not so sure about my 'death-by-childbirth' theory as of now.

Um, okay, enough babbling by me. On with the Ficceh! And beware the SPOILERS!

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

"I don't need my body to kill you! I'll bite your head off motherfucker!!" the disembodied head of Akatsuki member Hidan screamed up at Nara Shikamaru. Shikamaru said nothing, gazing disdainfully down to the bottom of the large pit where the incapacitated Akatsuki lay. He watched the various sized rocks and clumps of dirt bury the remains of Lord Jashin's most loyal follower and hoped that his teammates were faring well with Kakuzu. It had been quite a day for his team and Kakashi-san, what with tracking the positions of the two Akatsuki members responsible for Asuma-sensei's death, and then setting up the various traps for Shikamaru's battle strategy. Shikamaru continued to stare down the pile of rubble that was his teacher's murderer with all the intensity he had shown the black Konoha memorial plaque. Would it ever be over? He had been quietly terrified at the prospect of directing his teammates in this fight, no matter how necessary it was. He couldn't stop thinking about how it correlated with his older fears of losing people under his command. Technically that hadn't happened yet, as Asuma was team captain at the time of his own death, but still the dreadful prospect worried away at the back of his mind like a constant vice. First and foremost his desire, no, his _need_ was to protect those living in the leaf, but he couldn't help feeling something else that tugged at him. He didn't know whether it was his old lazyness, or a sense of futility, but there was a part of him that was willing to give up being a shinobi and just live peacefully with the one he cared about most. The only problem with that was, he could cause a catastrophe by not lending his aide if another war were to strike, and the one he wanted to settle down with most likely didn't share his vision of happiness.

"Shikamaru!" it was Sakura calling his name. Shikamaru didn't look up from the point his eyes had been focused on, but saw the figure of Sakura and another leaf shinobi scramble up beside him. The name of Sakura and Naruto-kun's new teammate was Sai, he had been told. Shikamaru glanced over at the two of them, sizing up Sasuke's replacement curiously. The young man had a blank look on him, black hair framing the sides of his face in a simple bowl-cut, dark skin-tight clothing covered all but his exposed tummy. Shikamaru refrained from raising a sardonic eyebrow at that, it was one of the most ridiculously un-protective outfits he had ever seen. Still, it wasn't Sasuke.

"We were sent by Kakashi-sensei to help you, but it looks like you're all done…Shikamaru, did you really take on an Akatsuki member all by yourself?" Sakura breathed, staring at the scene with incredulous eyes. Shikamaru shook his head.

"No, Asuma-sensei was with me." He said, and trudged away from the rubble.

* * *

"Do you know who the king is?" Nara Shikaro asked his son, anticipation gleaming in his eyes. Shikamaru smiled as he studied the shogi board.

"Hai, the king is the unborn generation of leaf shinobi." He answered. Shikaro studied his son's features and hand movements as he answered, using the moment of importance to take advantage and made his own move.

"Check-mate! You're not strong enough to protect the leaf yet, boy!" the older man declared triumphantly, unable to remember his last victory against Shikamaru.

"Bull-shit!" Shikamaru retorted, getting up and walking away. Shikaro stared at his retreating back, wondering what had set the boy off so badly. Shikamaru rarely raised his voice for any reason, let alone resorted to curse words. It was beneath him.

Shikamaru crossed his arms as he walked, deeming it necessary to take a stroll to soothe his nerves. Someone else had beaten him at shogi! It was all because his mind was so full of conflictions. He had to be strong enough to protect the leaf, there was no other option in the young man's mind. If he couldn't do that, then he would lose everything. Losing everything meant there were two things that would happen. Either A., he would become like Kakashi, pouring all his energies into maintaining an aloof attitude to keep himself from drowning in misery, becoming a tool of the village to distract himself and despising Konoha for it. Or B., he would seek out revenge and become a missing nin, casting off his identity as a leaf shinobi in an attempt to find happiness, and being forced to flee from attempts on his life by his own village. None of those seemed like prospects that would lead to a happy life, and so his only chance was to prevent the loss of that which he cherished. Most shinobi would simply train themselves not to cherish anyone they knew, but Shikamaru didn't want to be a cold machine. He was human, dammit!

He kicked at a loose stone in his path and decided to head towards the field. All he needed was enough motivation to push himself to that point where he became untouchable. A point that some people called 'legendary', where the mere mention of his name to the enemy would make them hesitate to attack. Perhaps relaxing alone and thinking pleasant thoughts about what he sought to protect would help fill him with enough motivation to go train some more.

Shikamaru found the lone tree and walked a slow circle around it, thinking of all the memories it held for him. He placed a hand on the smooth trunk and used it to support his weight as he let it all shift to his right leg. It was dusk, and the sun was in the middle of setting completely, a bright crimson half-circle peeking from behind the mountains of Konoha forest. Something blue caught his eye and he looked over to find a butterfly flitting down from the blooms of the tree. He half-smiled at it, brows creasing with a mixture of thoughts and feelings. He sighed then and sat with his back against the trunk of the tree, wondering if it was the same spot Chou had been sitting not so very long ago.

Chouji…why couldn't he let his ridiculous fantasies go? Chouji had never specified a romantic preference for anyone, or even a gender, neither of them had, really. He had been taught as a child that he would grow up, marry a woman, and have kids. Still, Shikamaru was quite certain that his closest friend couldn't possibly understand the magnitude that Shikamaru cared for him. It wasn't a simple physical attraction, as Shikamaru wasn't really all that fascinated by people's bodies. People were kind of disgusting, actually; compiled heaps of body fluids, membranes, and hormones all chugging along with a set amount of functions and slowly deteriorating over time.

The things people did however, the things they said and strove for past the basic animal instincts programmed into them, those were quite interesting to him. Patience and gentleness weren't usually qualities that people displayed without trying to gain something in return, and Chouji was a prime example of one of those few people who were more human than animal. Shikamaru had long-admired the other boy's kindness, felt protective at seeing his pains, and gained a companion who knew him better than anyone he had ever met. Shikamaru respected Chouji more than anyone, and it was through that respect that he learned to adore everything about the other shinobi. After reaching a certain age with that amount of adoration it was only natural that he studied the cupid's bow lips, noticed how clean Chouji kept himself, wondered if he was soft to the touch, felt enthralled by his voice and eyes…

Shikamaru let his mind drift a bit, closing his eyes and leaning his head against the tree. It took him a moment to notice the sound of sandals rustling though the grass at a slow walking pace. Shikamaru blinked his eyes open reluctantly from his daydreaming.

"Oi, Shikamaru…" He knew that soft baritone voice anywhere. Shikamaru stayed silent for a moment, little beads of sweat popping up on his forehead. He felt most incredibly stupid at the moment. He should have gone home and locked himself in his room if he was going to intentionally devote time to thinking about Chouji. He hoped to high-heaven that it was too dark for his friend to see well, as he could still feel a flush on his cheeks and a slight heat in his groin. He cursed his damnable hormones.

"Hn?" was his only response. He couldn't think of anything intelligent to say at the moment. Chouji padded closer and came to sit beside Shikamaru, relaxing himself.

"That was a dangerous thing you did back there, Shika." Said the larger youth.

"If it was like what Naruto-kun said, about crossing a bridge to become an adult, I guess that makes sense…But you've always been more adult than the rest of us."

Shikamaru smiled nervously at the words of praise and glanced at Chouji from the corner of his eye.

"Eh well, I didn't really think about it. I had plans laid out and I followed them. It was just something that had to be done." He shrugged, fully aware that he was stating the obvious, but unsure of how else to respond. He noted that Chouji seemed to be scolding him like a mother scolds a child that has intentionally hidden from her and caused a panic. He thought back to the incident with the cigarette and suppressed a broad smile. Chouji was being protective of him!

"Hn…" was Chou's reply. The food nin shifted and exhaled noisily, drawing one leg up and folding his arms behind his head. Shikamaru watched him with interest, noting furrowed brows framing dark eyes and fingertips moving idly through spiky caramel hair.

"Next time, let me contribute more." Chouji muttered.

The smile Shikmaru had been battling with surrendered suddenly and all the warmth in his body seemed to melt away. Something clicked in Shikamaru's mind and he turned his head to glare at Chou with sharp eyes.

"Don't tell me you still have a complex?" Shikamaru snapped. Ever since the incident with the mission to retrieve Sasuke, Chou had moments where his low self-esteem wasn't simply placated by crying or eating, but by puffing himself up around other people. Shikamaru hated it. The qualities he liked most about his friend seemed to get dumped and forgotten during such a phase, and the Akimichi would do rash, dangerous things to try and gain respect from those around him. Certainly, Shikamaru wanted Chouji to grow and defend himself, but he also wanted him to remain gentle and patient.

He was frightened that Chou would become the type of person that cast his life aside for the sake of glory and honor.

Chouji heard the tone in Shikamaru's voice and directed steady, smoldering eyes to meet sharp, piercing ones.

"I don't have a complex. I just want to be recognized and prove to myself that I'm just as good as anyone." Chouji said tersely, boring holes into Shikamaru's skull with his gaze. Shikamaru made a face that read; 'troublesome'.

"Why are you so obsessed with proving anything? You're not 'just as good as anyone', you're better." Shikamaru responded, his voice lowering an octave.

"Why are you so obsessed with keeping me from going into battle? You must think I'm weak." Chouji's voice raised an octave, though not level with his friend.

At this point, Shikamaru rose from his reclining position against the tree and stood in front of Chouji, his face lined with determination. He had to win this argument.

"What do you use to measure yourself, Chouji? If it's strength, you possess it. If it's wealth, you were born with it. If it's sacrifice, you've already made it." Shika spoke evenly and firmly, trying to stress the importance of his words.

It was Chouji's turn to rise now. The Akimichi towered over Shikamaru.

"If I let myself be babied and pitied by people, I will die much sooner than later. It is the shinobi way. You know this. We aren't children to be protected anymore." Chouji's voice was raspy and demanded no arguments. Shikamaru realized with a sense of defeat that Chou was managing to appear the calmer one in this discussion, at least, that was what his face showed. Most likely they were matching each other exchange by exchange.

Shikamaru sighed through his nose, and he was close enough to his friend that the small gust of air was enough to blow Chouji's hair a little.

"I don't want you to die, Chouji." There was hurt in Shikamaru's voice.

"I just want you to know that you're worth much more than you give yourself credit for." The Nara ended it at that, keeping his eyes locked with Chouji and waiting patiently for a response, a resolve to this little skirmish of theirs. Whether it was a victory or a tie, neither of them was truly certain, but at this point, it didn't really matter. This wasn't about dominance or strategy, it was two childhood friends dealing out their inner turmoils. Shikamaru relaxed a little and smiled, comforted by the fact that Chou had sought him out to discuss the things that bothered him, rather than keeping silent and letting resentment slowly broil inside. Shikamaru felt content, finally, to let Chouji win the battle. Chouji blinked at him, unsure of what the smile on Shika's face signified.

"Gomen, Chouji…I didn't mean to keep you from contributing to the best of your abilities in battle. It's just that I always try to come up with the safest plan. My top priority in a mission is always the survival of my teammates." Shikamaru dipped his head and nodded, lowering his eyes to the ground in a humble gesture. Chouji stared a moment longer, then relaxed as well and smiled back. Shikamaru was always so understanding.

"Ah, well…" Chouji scratched the back of his head, suddenly embarrassed at being so hot-headed about the whole thing. Shika was just concerned for his safety.

"I feel like an ass." Chouji said and laughed heartily, his whole frame shaking with the action. Shikamaru grinned at him, snorting in turn. He then turned to observe the sky, which was now inky blue and dotted sparsely with stars.

* * *

Woo! I'm sorry, the chapter was shorter than I thought. 0.0; In any case, thankyou those of you who have been reading the fic and reviewing despite the apparent lack of smut or romantic action of any kind. :) No worries, I promise I'll get to that soon enough...Just need some R&R to give me insight and encouragement, lol. In fact, I wrote this chapter because of the fact that I had so many people begging for more even after I hadn't updated in such a long time! And the ones who make note of the fact that there's a plot, and that I pay attention to the character's personalities; you make me sooo very happy! So here's to all those people. 


	6. Chapter 5

(Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. I'm just writing the other things that I can see his characters doing…)

I'm sure those of you who have been reading all this time are still awaiting some action between these two, but frankly, you'll just have to be patient. Realistically people don't just throw themselves at each other and go into a mad grope-fest, and if they do…well, that's how accidents happen. In any case, we are verrrry close to some juicy goodness, I was going to put it in this chapter, but the plot bunnies sat at my feet and made their best attempts to look cute and enticing….I couldn't say no to them!

On another note: the origin of the title "Now We Are Awake" was inspired from one line of a song called "Run to the Water" by Live. I would post some of the lyrics here to show you how nifty it all is, but that may require some more babbling about copyright and whatnot. Also, if you even care to read the lyrics, you can easily find them online. I will not be one to advocate laziness…no matter how great our favorite lazy genius is.

However, I will add that I was originally going to title this fic "Seishun Kyousoukou" after reading the translated lyrics from the Naruto Opening Theme of the same title, but I believe another author has already taken it. Some of you may have already read these words, but I'm going to post some of them for those who haven't…Just cuz I'm the type of person who likes little details like that. When reading this I tend to see it as Shika's POV…But I guess it could be any character.

I put together dried up words,

But all I really want is to convey my simple feelings to you.

The black wind that blew from that day,

I threw it away in yesterday's ruins,

So I can live and laugh today with you.

But even now, that incident still hurts you,

That's why it's goodbye.

While things are like this,

I'll just share with you without losing anything,

Before long, we'll realize that's everything.

Our tears will become just a river,

This trembling feeling will become a whirlpool and meld together.

* * *

Akimichi Chouji stepped slowly towards his home, listening to the scraping sound his sandals

made on the worn gravel path. He sighed for perhaps the hundredth time, still recovering from his

humiliating outburst towards Shikamaru. He never fought with his friend. It wasn't really his fault,

he decided. He had been on edge lately, what with Asuma-sensei's death, his hopeless romantic

father, and the general attitude of disdain or mockery he was certain that other shinobi felt towards

him. Pity was another possibility, as well. Chouji kicked at the gravel suddenly, watching with a

small amount of satisfaction as the tiny rocks flew at least fifteen feet away from him before raining

back down upon the ground with a noise akin to heavy rain. Approaching his home and sliding

open the entrance, he was startled to have nearly collided with Yuuhi Kurenai. The older woman

gazed at him in surprise for a moment, then turned her head away quickly and darted past him

through the door. Chouji remained motionless, staring straight ahead at nothing and

white-knuckling the door-frame. Cautiously, he released his hold on the bamboo beams and

walked slowly towards the kitchen. The house was deathly quiet, devoid of the usual sounds of

cooking or hearty laughter. Chouji paused by the entrance to the kitchen, peering around the

corner at the interior of the room. As predicted, Akimichi Chouza was standing in front of the

refrigerator, arms hanging loosely at his sides and a definite slouch in his body's posture. Chouji

had performed the same action enough times to know that his father was having a debate about

what food to drown his sorrows in, or if he should even eat food at all. Habitually seeking treats

for comfort and then feeling even worse as you ate them, thinking to yourself how others would

wrinkle their noses in disgust or sneer at you behind your back. Chouji was unsure if alerting the

older man to his presence would help or hinder his condition, so he snuck away silently.

* * *

"Our best sources confirm it then." Tsunade said gravely, leaning forward at her desk with her hands clasped in a business-like manner.

"Orochimaru is dead." Shikamaru was vaguely aware of the various exclamations resounding from

other ninja in the room at this statement. He forced himself to remain still and calm, lapping up the

words being spoken around him for later use. The first words out of Naruto-kun's mouth were

'Sasuke' and 'Snake-bastard'. Shikamaru had expected that. What he didn't expect was Naruto's

decision to go about finding Sasuke by tracking down Uchiha Itachi. Nor did he expect the full,

wordless support of other senior ninja. He had a lingering suspicion, judging by the mannerisms of

Kakashi-san when Naruto had eagerly insisted that Sasuke could return to Konoha now with

Orochimaru dead, that Sasuke had been officially declared a missing nin. Meaning that those

running Konoha were taking advantage of Naruto's enthusiasm to help them eliminate members of

Akatsuki. Shikamaru paled at the thought, nervous beads of moisture appearing in his face. The

Akatsuki organization was a serious threat to Konoha, with two of it's members having been Leaf

missing nin of legendary and Anbu status. Also there was the matter of the bijuu, and Konoha's

nine-tails seeming to be the most desirable target.

Shikamaru's jaw clenched in frustration. Even as far as Naruto was concerned, was recovering

Sasuke really imperative enough to warrant increased enemy attention to Konoha? Still, he knew

that there was no sense in trying to dissuade Naruto-kun. Sasuke and the blonde loudmouth were

both soft in the head, it seemed. Shikamaru could understand the need to face someone you have

a bond with; but at least he had never considered doing anything that would endanger other

people in the process. Shikamaru filed away yet another reason to loathe Sasuke and promptly

exited the room. He placed a hand to his forehead as he wandered aimlessly through the streets of

Konoha, feeling the beginnings of a headache. The goal of the Akatsuki was to capture all the

Bijuu. The accomplishment of such a goal would give them the power of every major village's

'Trump Cards'. The grand-scale scuffles with Orochimaru had been enough to provoke wars

among ninja villages; and he was but one exiled member of the council of bloody

clouds…Shikamaru hated to think of the implications surrounding conflict with a whole group of

vicious criminal masterminds. Certainly, they weren't invincible. No living thing on this green earth

was. But they were nothing if not careful. The deaths of Hidan and Kakuzu were simply chance

encounters. The two exiled shinobi were on a mission that had nothing to do with Konoha.

Shikamaru absently counted on his fingers, judging by the fact that there were nine Bijuu that there

may be nine Akatsuki members. That left six or seven, depending on whether or not Orochimaru

had been replaced after his defection. Shikamaru inhaled deeply and then let all the air out in a

huff. Unless by some slim chance that the Akatsuki could be taken out one by one, and somehow

kept from regaining strong members, an outright war to struggle against their rise to power would

be unavoidable. Shikamaru paused in the middle of an alleyway, the fingertips of both hands

pressed to either side of his head. His expression was very much similar to the one he had worn

while his teammates from the Sasuke retrieval mission had lain in various hospital beds, all in

critical condition. The same expression he'd fallen into after Temari of the sand had stared at him

with disdain and asked him; "That's pathetic. Didn't you take emotional training?" This time,

however, no tears leaked out. There were no sobbing confessions of his pains and fears, it was all

locked up tight inside his head. Nara Shikamaru wasn't a child anymore, and he knew how crucial

it was for one to remain calm, in this dangerous time when he no longer knew how long a life he

was being granted. Time. It was all about time. Shikamaru swayed a little in indecision, he had the

sudden urge to run to a million places at once to do all the things he'd ever wanted to.

But of course, alot of them were things he'd already experienced at least once before. His mind

was going about a process of elimination, placing things by importance in a sort of vague checklist.

The things he wanted to do that he hadn't experienced before? Knowing what it was like to care

for a child, that was one of them. Completely letting his guard down for one day, that was another.

Spending time with family that wasn't always bickering with each other, it would be nice. Chouji.

Being close to Chouji without worrying if it was too close. Proudly proclaiming his affections to

anyone who gave the two of them a curious glance. Waking up in the same house as his friend and

sharing every minute of his days and nights when not called away on duty.

Shikamaru sighed and rubbed at his temples in annoyance. It seemed that most all of those things

that he wanted to experience before he died would involve his friend in some way or another. He

also felt that he was becoming quite distinctly sappy and over-emotional. He needed to say

something. If only to let Chou know. Even if he was turned away, or even if he lost a friend in the

process; Chouji deserved to know that there was someone who cared for him on a profound

level. Even if things didn't turn out like Shikamaru's incredibly fuzzy fantasies, maybe it would at

least loosen the tension he felt surrounding the whole situation. Like a steel wire ready to snap

back on the person pulling it taut. But how to go about such a thing? Shikamaru had little to no

experience with love confessions, but he knew that walking up to his friend and saying; "You're beautiful. I love you. I wish one of us was capable of bearing children so we could have beautiful babies together. Please marry me." Was not going to elicit a desirable response.

He would require some much needed advice. He considered his options, again counting off on his

fingers without realizing it. There was his father, but the man was always pestering him; Trying

display friendly familial gusto, but Shikamaru could tell that the man was concerned at his son's

apparent lack of interest in intimacy of any kind. Next.

A girl might better understand his plight, but

women also tended to be very perceptive about romantic dealings, and he didn't want to take the

chance that A. the girl in question would catch on somehow and then spread ridiculously colorful rumors. B. the girl in question would think he was shy and trying to find a roundabout way of asking her out. Next.

Maybe someone who knows Chouji really well? Granted, Shikamaru and his friend understood

each other better than anyone; but even with that kind of insight he couldn't picture how Chou

would react or even imagine the right way to approach him delicately about it. Chouji's father had

some experience with courting the type of person one wants to marry and raise kids with,

obviously. He was also going through a similar dilemma of being rejected right now, Shikamaru

expected, from what Chou had said of the man's feelings for Asuma-sensei's grieving and pregnant

significant other, Kurenai. On top of all that, Chouza loved to talk about his son, so Shikamaru

could easily hit two birds with one stone. Gain some romance advice, and maybe get a hint at

Chouji's thoughts about love. Checkmate.

* * *

Shikamaru reached up a lithe hand and rang the doorbell to Chouji's home, hoping that his friend

was out elsewhere. The mechanism to alert those inside to the presence of a visitor was not

controlled by the push of a button, like the homes of non-ninja, but rather by the tug of a rope

connected to a traditional bell mounted beside the door. It would have been easy enough for

Shikamaru to slide open the bamboo doors and walk in, but it would also be rude. He heard the

sound of heavy steps and tensed slightly, unsure which Akimichi those steps might belong to.

Chouza slid open the door, a sullen expression on his face before he realized who it was at his

door. The older man smiled warmly at Shikamaru, eyes squeezed shut by the broadness of the

expression.

"Shikamaru…It's nice to see you again. Chouji is out training with Lee just now, I think." Chouza  
said and nodded thoughtfully, placing a finger to his lips.

"Hn…Well, Chouza-san, I actually came here to speak with you." Shikamaru smirked and glanced at Chouza uncertainly, head bowed low to show respect.

"Oh? What is it?" Chouza's expression was distant, yet surprised.

"I have a problem, and I need some advice. I would have asked my father about it, but he's always pestering me, and I didn't want to have to see his smug face when I asked him questions. You seemed like you might have the kind of wisdom I'm looking for…" Shikamaru explained, gesturing idly with one hand and scratching the back of his head with the other. Chouza regarded him in silence for a moment.

"If it's involving romance, I don't think I'll be of much help, Shikamaru. I'm not exactly a heart-throb." Chouza said flatly. He sounded bitter, yet he was smiling.

"I beg to differ." Shikamaru replied in an equally flat tone.

"I'm not trying to get advice for a date or how to get laid." Shikamaru was the one smiling wryly now. Chouza blinked a few times at how blunt Shikamaru was.

"What I need is how to tell someone that I love them more than anything, and want to spend the rest of my life with that person, without scaring them away."

A/N: Aaand there we have it. This chapter was completed, finally, at 1:18 am. So I hope you're all happy. :) Also, what is that you say? You're still waiting for some fluff? Well, I PROMISE you shall have it in the next chapter. No, really! I also hope you guys enjoyed the little peek into Chou's life, and I'd like to know what you think I should do about poor Kurenai and her fatherless unborn child, ne…?


	7. Chapter 7

Chouza stared incredulously at the young Nara, arms folded uncertainly.

"I still don't understand why you came to ME for wisdom, Shikamaru. I don't claim to be a wise man." Chouza shook his head and looked at the ground in modesty.

"The only advice I can offer you is to never give up on that special person. If your love for them is so deep that you want to spend your life with them, and I really

think you're too young to understand that, but if that truly is the case then you never give up on them, no matter what happens. There's no sure-fire way to approach

another person about that level of commitment, everyone is different. Usually you have to fight for it. You have to prove that you're worthy to that person. That you

alone can give them a future of happiness and fulfillment." Chouza said, commanding Shika's attention with his eyes.

Shikamaru knew most of this advice already, but he was interested in knowing Chouza's views on what a good relationship should be. Trying to confront Chouji about

his desires was one thing, but breaking the news to their families was an entirely different beast. Shikamaru had long envied Chouji his kind and caring family in

contrast to his own. He respected Chouza and wanted to ensure that the older man would not worry about Chouji should he and Shikamaru ever be together.

Chouza glanced up at something in the distance behind Shikamaru and waved heartily at Chouji and Lee coming down the path. Chouji returned the wave with a

smile while Lee leaped energetically along the path, shouting out enthused greetings to Shikamaru, who simply nodded his head politely.

"Shikamaru-kun! You should come training with us sometimes! Work your body as well as your brain to achieve balance, yeah?" Lee insisted, once they had all

reached the Akimichi doorstep. Shikamaru half-smiled and shrugged.

"I prefer to train alone." he muttered, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Nah, Shikamaru…" Chouji sounded disapproving, giving his friend a pointed, searching look. Shikamaru met the look with a sheepish grimace.

He opened his mouth to speak, but the attention of all was suddenly focused on a Chuunin running hurriedly down the path. The Shinobi paused halfway and cupped

his hands around his mouth to project his voice.

"Nara Shikamaru! Hokage-sama wishes to speak with you, now!" Shikamaru clenched his jaw in response as the messenger ran off to shout at someone else. He had

been seriously considering the idea of talking Chouji into a friendly sparring match, goodness knows he could use the stress relief, but it seemed fate had other plans.

He turned and shot an apologetic look at Chouza, Lee, and Chouji.

"Hunh, you're pretty popular Shika. You'd better get going." Chouji spoke up before Shikamaru could try to explain himself. Shikamaru stared at him briefly, getting the

feeling that Chou was having another of his envious, resentful moments again.

Shikamaru turned and waved with some misgivings.

"I'll catch you later, Chou."

Author's Note: Augh supershortchapterdon'thurtmeh!! My problem is this;

I've been poring over the manga for awhile now, and since Shikamaru's awesome fight and shogi match with his dad...These two haven't really shown up or been mentioned in ages...So I really have no idea what they're doing or where they are at this point in time...Because of this, it's been really difficult to write them. (Also, I've been tempted to write asides focusing on OroKa and ItaKisa, but...well...some people happen to be pronounced dead.  
Which is extemely irritating, because I was just beginning to like those pairings. Now they make me depressed. /

My other issue right now is that finals week is drawing ever nearer, and it's definitely crunch time for me on projects.

Sooo...constructive input of some kind, or suggestions are very welcome right now, and could help me churn some stuff out for you guys over the summer, where I will be basically working and sitting at home waiting for school to start again. /

Thanks Much 3


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: Blarg, I'm going through a lot of stuff right now, primarily with school and appeasing the financial aid gods. I'm also thinking of changing my major, possibly transfering to a different school. I've been going to school for art…But what I really want, really, is to just sit down and write novels._

_I have more plots for novels than I can keep track of, but never enough time to work on them._

_I keep thinking; "If I could just finish and publish one story!" Then I wouldn't be dirt poor anymore, and I'd be making a living doing something I enjoy, which is why I started school in the first place._

_Anyway, enough of my blathering, I really hope you guys enjoy this chapter, I worked hard on it, and I'm guessing it's the chapter that a lot of you have been waiting for. So please enjoy…_

* * *

Chouji watched Shikamaru trot off with a sense of dutiful urgency unheard of in their

childhood, and made his way into the house, leaving his father to chat with the

ever-energetic Lee. Rather than being put off, the conversation seemed to be good for

Chouza, as Lee's jubilance was often contagious. Chouji smiled at the hearty bouts of

laughter coming from the doorway.

Chou paused in the living room, thumbing his lower lip in thought over some treats lying

about on the table by the couch. However, his mind wasn't on food.

His friend had to be hiding something from him, it was the only explanation for Shikamaru's

sudden bout of uneasy, nervous behavior. The worst part was, after nearly thirteen years

of friendship, he hesitated to think of what could be so monumental that Shikamaru would

keep it from him. Was he being sent into something dangerous? Had he committed a

crime? Maybe he wasn't hiding anything in particular, but wanted to drift away from his

friendship with Chouji without hurting his feelings. This seemed more plausible to Chouji

somehow. Shikamaru had gained a lot of respect and recognition in the past few years,

and he was probably making a lot of friends on the higher rungs. Friends who could hold

an intelligent conversation with him…Maybe even challenge him.

Chouji snorted, brows furrowing, before turning around and barreling out the door with a

hasty apology to Lee and his father. The idea that Shikamaru didn't have the nerve to be

upfront with him about it pissed him off more than anything else. He was going to have to

confront Shikamaru about whatever the problem was.

* * *

Shikamaru bowed curtly to Tsunade and awaited his briefing.

"Shikamaru," She pointed to a map displaying the locations of Konoha ninja at important

mission sites, marked by little wooden pieces with symbols engraved on them.

"Our teams have located Uchiha Sasuke and a small group of ninja traveling with him. He

appears to be making his move against Uchiha Itachi, and if we don't intercept him, their

paths will soon intersect." Tsunade paused briefly to glance up at Shikamaru, but he only

fixed his gaze upon the map, waiting for her to continue.

"Kakashi's team is trailing Uchiha Itachi as well in hopes of minimizing the conflict between

all parties. Reports state that Sasuke dispatched Akatsuki member Deidara and possibly a

shinobi wearing an orange mask believed to be his partner. Only Deidara's body has been

found. This, along with your own team's success at defeating Akatsuki members Hidan and

Kakuzu lead us to believe that the war against these threats may come to a swift end.

However, this is a very tenuous and explosive affair, and should the fight come to our

borders, I want you in charge of Konoha's battle strategies." Tsunade clasped her hands

together to signal the end of the briefing. Shikamaru nodded, then,

"What of Uchiha Sasuke?" he asked quietly. Tsunade stared at him.

"What of him?"

"Assuming that he survives his confrontation with Uchiha Itachi, or is retrieved by

Kakashi-san's team, what will become of him?"

"He will be reinstated as head of his clan, of course."

There was a tense moment of silence, where two people accustomed to glaring had an

official glare-off. Shikamaru won.

"Why?" the question came from Shikamaru's mouth like a small bolt of lightning.

"Because he is the only viable Uchiha alive. Because the Uchiha are the strongest of all

Konoha's clans and we do not need to weaken our forces by casting him out. This was

decided a long time ago by the council after Orochimaru succeeded in convincing Sasuke to

leave Konoha. Do you have a problem, Nara Shikamaru?" Tsunade replied tersely.

Shikamaru grit his teeth, fully-aware that proper protocol required him to dip his head

submissively and say that no, he didn't have a problem and he respected the judgement

of his superiors.

"Yes I have a fucking problem." Tsunade's eyes widened a fraction at Shikamaru's

frankness. Shikamaru was also fully-aware of the fact that he could afford to ignore

protocol because he was an important asset to Konoha, just like Sasuke.

"Regardless of what clan he's from, he doesn't deserve to be given a free pass back into

Konoha as soon as it's convenient for him. I understand why and how he could be an

asset to our village, but I will not stand by and watch him prance by like nothing's wrong

and all is forgiven. Others in this village may be willing to let it go in light of his tragic past,

but I for one will never let him forget that he's a weak-minded bastard who put a lot of

people in danger for his own selfish reasons. He is not a noble Uchiha. He's a criminal

who's been saved only by the color of his eyes, and I want him to realize that."

immediately following his seething statement, Shikamaru bowed once again to

Tsunade-sama and slipped quickly out of the office, fumbling in his pockets for a cigarette

as he reached the exit to street-level. He gnawed on a stick for a few seconds in the

doorway then paused to stare at the packet in his hand, the cigarette in his mouth

drooping down. Nara Shikamaru felt incredibly pathetic. He spat out the cigarette and

flung the package with malice to the ground. He then squatted down with an

uncharacteristic grin, pulled out a match, and set fire to the lone cigarette and it's box.

His brief moment of maniacal victory was cut short by the sound of a foot shuffling in the

dirt to his right, and he glanced over to see Chouji leaning against the wall with his arms

crossed, sporting his most surly glare.

"Smoking a whole pack nowadays, I see." he said.

Shikamaru, realizing that he must look like a nut, and not putting it past his friend to have

him committed out of concern for his mental health, stood up sheepishly and ground out

the flames with his shoe.

"That was my last one." Shikamaru stated matter-of-factly, holding up one hand as if he

were swearing an oath. Despite the fact that he had just lost his temper in front of the

hokage, and made a fool of himself in the streets of Konoha, Shikamaru was feeling much

better.

"Whatever plans you have, drop them and come with me. We need to talk." Chouji said

abruptly and then turned to walk away. Shikamaru was all too happy to obey, though his

'troublesome' senses were tingling ever-so-slightly. They walked along the same stone

path they had been walking since they were small children of eight, and Shikamaru felt his

mood improve with each step as he mused on this fact. The warm fluttery feeling that he

had dubbed his 'man-crush' on his best friend had returned with full-force and he

stubbornly pushed aside all worldly concerns in favor of savoring the moment. He could

never know how long it would last. They reached the fence and climbed over it with

slightly more difficulty than when they were little.

Shikamaru had a clear memory of sliding swiftly underneath the bottom row of wood

shortly after he and Chouji had become friends. Chouji had tried to copy him and gotten

stuck, which reduced the larger boy to tears over his size and how the other children

teased him. Shikamaru had dutifully kicked out that particular plank of wood so they could

walk under it unhindered, but this did not console Chouji. The Nara had resorted to giving

the other boy an awkward hug, having seen his own grandmother comfort his mother in

this way. Chouji had ceased his crying purely from shock, and after that incident they

made a game of seeing who could climb over the fence the quickest. You lost points if you

injured yourself in the process.

Shikamaru followed Chou's armored form through the grass until they came to the old

tree. This too, made Shikamaru think of his childhood, as the tree seemed to adjust itself

to perfect climbing height as the years went by. Chouji leaned against the tree, arms

folded once more, and waited expectantly for Shikamaru's attention. Shikamaru came to

stand in front of Chou, hands shoved deep into his pockets, fumbling at non-existent

cigarette packets. He smiled apologetically for unknown crimes.

"What's on your mind, Chouji?"

"Your attitude."

"Can you be more specific?"

"You haven't been yourself lately. You're always rushing off to meet with the hokage, you

don't talk to me openly anymore. You always have this look on your face like something

terrible is looming over the horizon and you don't want to scare anyone by letting them in

on the big secret. Acting like everything is normal by not talking to people works on

everyone except the people you always talk to, Shikamaru. What is going on?…Please tell

me what's going on…"

Shikamaru stared for a few moments at Chouji's face, laced with hurt and worry, and then

looked away. He shuffled his feet a couple times, ran his hands through his hair, and then

sighed defeatedly.

"It's complicated, Chou….I just-" Shikamaru tried.

"No!" The anger in Chouji's voice made his friend flinch. Chou leveled his eyes with Shika,

doing his best to maintain his composure at the sight of his best friend in a state of

near-cowering.

"Shikamaru, you're the smartest person I've ever met. Probably the smartest person in

the whole village. I know some things may be harder for me to understand than for you,

but I don't care if it takes you all day…If it takes you a week, a month, I don't care if you

have to write me a BOOK! You are going to explain yourself to me. I am going to listen. I'm

not going to leave you alone until I understand what's going on with you. Do you

understand?" Chouji kept his voice as steady as possible. Shikamaru resembled a small

dog waiting to be hit by a rolled-up newspaper, and Chouji was sorely tempted to cave-in

and tell his friend that everything was fine and that he didn't want to pressure him into

talking. But he knew better. If Shikamaru was even going to hide anything from his best

friend, telling him to take his time wasn't going to make him feel guilty or more

comfortable. He would simply take it as an escape and keep his mouth shut.

Shikamaru was clearly agitated by Chouji's stubborn decision, as he paced back and forth,

rubbing his arms before finally sitting cross-legged in the grass to stare intensely at

nothing. Chouji joined him on the ground, looking somewhat like an Indian chief with arms

and legs crossed, his wild mane of hair trailing behind him like a ceremonial head-dress.

Shika was sweating, and he continued to stare at the air as if he hoped to rip open a

portal and leap through it to safety.

"Can I take that last option and write you a book?" Shikamaru said in a deadpan voice.

"If you honestly think it will help you explain things to me, then yes…If you're just saying

that so you can slink off without doing anything, then no, because I'll find you and kick

your ass." Shikamaru marveled at how Chouji managed to switch from sweet to menacing

in the span of a single sentence.

A long pause followed, where Shikamaru stared at Chouji for awhile. Chou felt slightly

unnerved.

"I'm not in trouble, or in danger or anything like that. I'm not suicidal, I'm not abandoning

you for the high life…It's just some personal thoughts I've had for awhile, and they've

been bugging me a little more than usual. That's all. You don't have to worry about me,

Chouji." Shika said finally, plucking out strands of grass by his knee.

"Since when are you unable to share your thoughts with me…? That's practically our

past-time. We sit out here under this tree, we look at the clouds, and we talk about

whatever we think of." Chouji said slowly, one eyebrow gradually rising along with his

head in a confused gesture.

Shikamaru started to answer and then pressed his lips into a thin line instead, furrowing

his brow and looking generally frustrated. Chouji uncrossed his arms and opted to put

them behind his head instead.

"I'm afraid." Shikamaru admitted.

"Afraid of what?"

"Lots of things. But in this case, mainly two. One, you're one of the most important people

in the world to me, and I'd hate to lose you as a friend. Two, I consider your happiness to

be more important than mine, and you might be happier just not knowing my thoughts."

Chouji took a minute to process Shikamaru's vague but long-winded response, and felt

confused, concerned, and also pleasantly flattered.

"Shikamaru, you could never lose me as a friend. You're stuck with me forever. Unless…"

Chouji frowned, Shikamaru's eyes got a little bigger.

"….You turned into a mean, spiteful person…You've been thinking bad things about me!"

Chouji exclaimed pointing an accusing finger at his friend. Shikamaru, despite himself,

found it hard not to snicker.

"Depends on what you mean by 'thinking bad things'…." He muttered, smirking. Chouji

gave him a wounded look, and Shikamaru hastily corrected himself.

"That's not what I meant! Chouji I could never think badly of you! You know that!" Shika

said in a flustered way. Chouji seemed unconvinced.

"Then what is it?! Just tell me! If you're not in trouble and it's not going to hurt my feelings

then there's no reason why you can't tell me what's eating at you!" Chou insisted.

"You…" Shikamaru said simply.

"What?"

"You."

Chouji stared uncomprehendingly at his friend. Shikamaru stood up carefully, he looked

sad and weary. He'd given up the fight, unable to argue with his friend's logic. He sat

down on his ankles in front of Chouji, who was still sitting against the tree, giving him a

slightly bewildered look.

"You sure you really want to know? It could change everything." Shika said quietly. Chouji

continued to stare, but only nodded. Shikamaru leaned forward, but chickened out at the

last minute and simply fell with a flump against Chouji's chest.

"Unph." Shikamaru said. Chouji narrowed his eyes and gave Shikamaru a withering look.

"All that, and all you have to say is 'Unph'?" Chouji grumbled in irritation.

"Unph." Shikamaru affirmed. Chouji sighed.

"I give up. Let's go home." he stated, his bad mood highly apparent. The two leaf nin got

up and made their way back towards the fence. As they neared it, Shikamaru got a bright

idea and paused to make sure Chouji finished climbing over before him. He followed

directly behind his friend, calculating his movements carefully. Straddling the top of the

fence, Shikamaru waited for Chou's feet to touch the ground in front of him.

"Hey, Chouji." Shika said. Chouji glanced back at him. Shikamaru placed his hands on

Chouji's shoulders, gave his friend a swift kiss on the mouth, and then flipped backwards

off the fence before running for dear life towards the field. Shika glanced back to see Chou

frozen in his tracks by the fence, and he grinned to himself about the cyclical nature of this

place they kept revisiting as they grew older.

Chouji stared after the shrinking form of his best friend leaping through tall grass.

_Music listened to for this chapter; "Blind" by Default, "When It Started" by The Strokes, "Map of the Problematique" by Muse, "Pressure" by Billy Joel, and an oldies rock station._


End file.
